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.An Update.

If you have time time-- this is going to be a long post. For those of you just looking for pictures, well that will have to come on another post! But if you want an update, keep reading... there is much to report these days!

Life has been pretty crazy around here the past few weeks. We have been hit with the nasty stomach bug that seems to be making rounds through everyone we know! That in of itself would have been enough to keep us busy and tired! But that is not all of the lot the Lord has had for us! In the midst of kids throwing up everywhere, we had a few opportunities to show our house to potential renters!

One Saturday morning, they were scheduled to come to see the house at 10 am, the day after Tyler had been throwing up all day! I was sorely tempted to cancel this showing. In my weakness, I wanted to curl up in bed and ignore the messes from the previous days sickness. But we pressed through and boy am I glad I did!

We have renters for our home! After several months of various showings through Realtors and craigslist, we finally got a bite! We signed the lease this past Saturday! The family who came that day, loved our home and wanted to get the lease done as soon as possible! They were offering to write us a check for a deposit that day! So, now we have until April 15 to be out of our house!

So, now I am on the hunt for boxes and packing supplies! Anyone know where we can get our hands on cheap or free boxes??? I have been hoping to find some on Craigslist! We have not begun to pack, but that is the plan for the next... oh I don't know... month or so! The plan is to put most of our stuff into storage and the rest of what we will need to live with will come with us to Jordan's parents house for the next year. It is a daunting task to look around me at our home filled to the brim with toys, furniture, and just stuff! Anyone who wants to pack, is welcome to come!

As my flowers start to come up out of the ground and my trees begin to blossom, it has been sad for me to realize that I might not be here to enjoy the beauty of my garden, or ever live here again. The reality of the sacrifice is becoming more and more a reality, and as there is much grace, I think the reality of the coming changes are beginning to settle in. I have been in tears one minute and really excited the next. It has been a roller coaster of emotions, and I am seeking to not be governed by what I feel and more by truth.

In the midst of all of that, there have been many tempting situations I have been seeking to walk through. I have been hesitant to share them, as I am proud and don't always like to be completely transparent... but I know that there has been so much grace in the midst of these trials, and that it will only give more Glory to God to talk about his Grace and point back to him!

Three weeks ago, I found out I was pregnant with baby #3! I had taken an early pregnancy test and was so excited... sadly, this joy was to be short lived. I started to have a period just a few days later. I experienced an "early miscarriage." I only knew I was pregnant for a few days, and yet there was a sense of grief and sadness that I had a hard time shaking. I knew that the Lord was sovereign over the circumstance, and yet I wanted to be sad. A friend of mine very keenly shared with me that it was normal to feel that way no matter how long you were actually pregnant. As soon as you find out you are pregnant, your world changes and your thoughts attach to the idea of a new life. Grief was natural, but I didn't want it to rule me.

All that to say, there has been much grace, and I am living in the good of knowing that ALL THINGS HAPPEN for the good of those in Christ. I also think that I will refrain from taking an early pregnancy test again, the next time we try for a baby (which we are unsure of the timing of with our pending move and changed living situation). Lesson learned... for now at least.

In the midst of all the sickness, I had a birthday, and am now 29. Hard to believe. It seems like only a little bit ago that I was 25. This year, I wanted to buy a new camera for myself, with some money saved and given for my b-day. I listed my camera on Craigslist to sell to make up the difference for the new camera I was going to buy. To make a LONG and dramatic story short, I was scammed and my camera was stolen and I was left robbed. Yes, I was scammed. I felt foolish for falling for the scam, I was furious at the situation, I was grieved for having lost my camera... oh it was pretty much the end of the world.... I was a pitiful mess the few days the situation took place last week.

Until my husband, mom and friend (thanks ST) pointed me back to the fact that GOD was still in control and involved in my life. I had a choice to give into being angry, and bitter and charge God with not being fair and for not protecting me... or choose to honor him with my attitude and choose to have joy despite my loss. It has been a process, let me just tell you that. My plans have been changed, but God still sits on His throne and my greatest need has been taken care of. I am a sinner (which is quite obvious now) and I have a wonderful Savior. My plan is to still get a new camera. Not the big one I originally planned to buy, but God has provided a way for me to get something else. I have learned a tough lesson, and I pray not to make it ever again!

The truth of the song. Blessed Be Your Name has really been a help to me during this time. What truth it is. My life usually resides in the plentiful and abundant realm, and I have always hoped that when I was in the desert place to be able to sing the words of this song with full faith in what I was saying, believing and not just saying empty words. There is much grace in weakness.
Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name
So here we are now... getting ready to move, training two crazy boys, shopping for a sweet deal on a new camera, recovering from sickness, and all the while seeking to TRUST the LORD for it all. God is good. He has not changed, nor will he ever! What peace, what confidence, what hope can be found the in the changeless one.

"You, Lord, laid the foundation of the earth in the beginning, and the heavens are the work of your hands; they will perish, but you remain; they will all wear out like a garment, like a robe you will roll them up, like a garment they will be changed. But you are the same, and your years will have no end." Hebrews 1:11, 12

Comments

tessa said…
you weren't kidding about a long update! ;) but it was well worth the read :) thanks for your transparency Tali. i'll be praying for you as you grieve the lose of your little one. i'll also keep my eyes open for any boxes and deals on a camera. what model are you looking for?
Conner Family said…
Praying for you friend!
Love D
Anonymous said…
oh hun, your news yet so sad but yet even more wonderful!! I continually pray for you my dear friend and remember all those precious moments that God gave us together. I pray one day God will let us meet again and enjoy time together... hugs and love to ya xxx
Anonymous said…
I'm so sorry to hear of your recent miscarriage, Tali.
I wanted to let you know that Matt would be happy to get boxes of various sizes for you from work. His company receives copiers and supplies/equipment in boxes of all sizes so they always have an excess of boxes. Shoot me a message on FB or email or something and we can set up a time/meeting place for him to get the boxes to you. But don't pay for boxes!!!!

Jenny (Peters)
Unknown said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lindsey Knott said…
Hey Tali!! Praying for you and you can get tons of free boxes from Safeway or Giant grocery stores. When we moved, Brian just went in to the customer service desk and asked them to put boxes aside in his name and to call him when there were enough to pick up. They did so and we picked up about 3 loads of perfect sized boxes (sturdy and very useful ones!!). Hope that helps!!
Anonymous said…
i love you, mom

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