Long over due, as usual.... Can you believe we are finished with Delayed Intensification already? The time in Jack's treatment I dreaded most, has come to an end! And even though there was an 8 day hospital stay in the middle of it all, it was better than I thought it would be by far! Jack is such a trooper, and has endured so much. He has been full of energy on most days, which is a joy to us all. When we walked into the clinic last week to start the next round of chemo, the Dr we work with smiled and said, "You did it! You made it through the toughest part! All down hill from here!" Wow, enter an audible sigh of relief!
He began his next phase of chemo treatment last Friday, and has another dose of chemo every 10 days until the end of September. This past dose, he came down with some mouth sores and thrush, which are common side effects of the chemo he was given. After a few days, of most foods hurting his mouth, the sore healed up enough that eating was not painful, and now the thrush is almost gone too. And his energy has not diminished much at all.
Jordan and I recently were going back on all the blog posts about this time in our lives, and we have just been struck with how merciful God has been to us. Although this trial has been great, the grace we have encountered has been greater. God has protected Jack from so much, and he has just breezed through so much of this time. So many prayers have been answered, and we all value each other so much more, respect one another, and love more deeply than ever. So much fruit has been born from this trial, and we are undone at the mercy of God.
On the house front, we did get the house we had applied for, but did not have peace about moving forward. So we ended up declining that home. Then we moved on to another home, and were in the process of applying to rent it, full of faith and eagerly anticipating moving in the coming month. Well, I went down on Tuesday last week to turn in our application, take pictures, and move in in my mind! When I got home from this, Jordan had the fresh news that our insurance is dependant upon us STAYING in MD. The plan we have is a Cobra Maryland Continuation Program from his previous employer. SO,we are now NOT moving until November. Crazy times.
So I really struggled with this news. I do not think in my mind I was doubting the good plan of God. I know in my mind, that he has the best plan for us. But believeing that, truly holding fast to that was where I was struggling. I think I was wrestling with disappointment, which I know was normal, but then I started feeling sorry for myself. I was so consumed with how hard this was, that I failed to see the hand of God in it, and in turn, see it as for my good. I have been so provoked by the following line in William Cowper's Hymn, "God moves in a mysterious way, his wonders to perform."
"Judge not the lord by feeble sense, but trust him for his grace.
Behind a frowning providence, he hides a smiling face."
Behind a frowning providence, he hides a smiling face."
Oh how quick I am to assume I know what is best for me. That I can some how see all the variables, know what the perfect scenario is, understand the hearts of all around me. How glad my heart is to know that although I cannot claim any such knowledge, there is one that does. It took me a couple days to wrap my mind around this truth, and other ones like it. I feel certain that the Lord is bringing us through the deep waters of trial of various kinds, so that our faith is deepened, He is glorified, and we grow in our love and utter dependence on a loving Father.
I have many pictures to post, so hopefully (we shall see!) I can get some up soon. Thanks for praying with us, for asking how we are doing, and for standing with us during this time. We are so amazed at the continued love and support from so many. Grateful beyond words.
Comments
Love you!
~~Sena
Your faith and reliance on God encourages me. Your honesty about how it isn't easy to always have that faith and trust, provokes me.
I'm often consumed with fear just knowing that I'm not in control and the lives of my daughters are in God's hands. I'm a new mom, and learning to put them in God's hands isn't coming very easily. Thank you for your example!
Your children are precious. I'm grateful to be able to witness this testimony from afar.
God Bless!
Katie
-Bethany