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Read this today in Charles Spurgeon's Chequebook from the bank of Faith, and how fitting it was...

The Dross Purged

"And I will put this third into the fire, and refine them as one refines silver, and test them as gold is tested. They will call upon my name, and I will answer them. I will say, ‘They are my people’; and they will say, ‘The LORD is my God.’” (Zechariah 13:9)

"The fire only refines; it does not destroy. We are to be brought through the fire, not left in it. The Lord values His people as silver, and therefore He is at pains to purge away their dross. If we are wise, we shall rather welcome the refining process than decline it. Our prayer will be that our alloy may be taken from us rather than that we should be withdrawn from the crucible.

O Lord, Thou triest us indeed! We are ready to melt under the fierceness of the flame. Still, this is Thy way, and Thy way is the best. Sustain us under the trial and complete the process of our purifying, and we will be Thine forever and ever."


Today marks two years. Two whole, full, difficult, yet amazing years. Our lives are forever changed. Our faith deepened as we have drunk from the depths of grace we never thought we would know or need. Upheld day after day, we stand, not on our own strength or ability or will, but completely and perfectly by the loving Father.

I am so happy that we are over half way through this process. Only 428 days left! Jack has been such an amazing boy in so many ways. There is so much I could say about him, how he has persevered, how he has grown. It just amazes me. Just one year ago, getting his port accessed was not only traumatic but incredibly difficult. Just two days ago, Jack (like the last two visits prior) announced to me that he was going to be brave. So true to his word, my little soldier took a deep breath, held it with his cheeks all puffed out and calmly clinging his doggy blanket, while the nurse counted down and put the needle in his body. Not one tear was shed. I did not have to restrain him. He is amazing. This is such answer to prayer.

It also shows how much he has grown up. It is hard to believe he was only just 2 when he was diagnosed. And 2 years makes quite a difference. He was barely talking then, now he is a chatter box. He talks about his hospital and his Dr.'s, and seems to really understand some of what is happening to him and around him. And it is met with courage, no longer fear and tears. My heart is filled with gratefulness to see this working of the Lord in his heart and mind. Truly peace that passes understanding.

Since my last update, we have been trying to figure out the correct dosage of chemo for him to be taking in order to keep his blood counts within the desired window. That has been tricky, but finally, after a year, the Dr. got the right combo. He is on 125% dosage from the standard plan. But this is what it takes, and he seems to be handling it very well.

Steroid week is always a trying week. but we survive and are desperate for grace. It is hard to explain to him, the way the medicine he takes changes him. It is hard to explain to Tyler how to show compassion and have mercy on his brother when he is steroid-crazy. It is hard to be cooking food all day, putting out emotional fires and calming raging anger. Yet we do manage, by the grace of God, one month after another.

And so, two years have passed, since we drove in a snow storm, continuing on the path the Lord laid out for us, the one we would never have chosen for ourselves. Two years since we sat in an ER, comforting our sick boy and each other. Technically, February 10 is the actual date of true diagnosis, at 4 am. But the journey began on this day, and today I want to recall God's faithfulness. He has been faithful in so many ways. We marvel at his kindness, and desperately cling to the promises of future grace.

On another happy note, the Make-A-Wish Foundation is sending our family to Disney World in 37 days!!! SO excited for this sweet blessing.

And with a steroid-crazed boy, crying at my side, I will end this post and get to cooking snack number 3 of the day. Isn't it sweet to be home, able to serve my son in the most basic ways. Only 15 more months of steroids. Praising God for that one. And praising him for grace upon grace, as the days pass by, one at a time.

Comments

Mary grange said…
Love you and the fam, tali! Thanks for sharing your experience with us all, trials and faith both. The light of Christ truly shines through you! Miss u.
He is faithful!! Can't believe it's been 2 years. We love you guys and count down the days until April 2014 with you! Have an AMAZING time at Disney World, can't wait to see pics & hear all about it. Love you!!
Shannan Collins said…
Wow Tali-what a beautiful thing it is for you to walk this heart wrenching journey in public and allow others to truly see the glory of God through your suffering. By you declaring that He is still enough even through the most painful of circumstances-is truly breathtaking and moves me to tears. Your faithfulness to God through this whole thing has given me greater faith in God. I am sure that He will help me just as He has helped you when I go through my own sufferings. I love the part where you said Jack said he was gonna be brave! That is a courageous, brave boy indeed! I love seeing God powerfully showing Himself in children! It was so good running into you the other day-you looked really good Tali-seriously! Keep up the good fight-you have your eye on the right prize! Thank you for helping me exercise my faith muscles-because the Lord knows we all need that. If only the world had more people like you showing what it looks like clinging to God so deeply...

Shannan Collins
Jeremy said…
And David said, “The LORD who delivered me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine.” And Saul said to David, “Go, and the LORD be with you!” - 1 Samuel 17:37

And that all this assembly may know that the LORD saves not with sword and spear. For the battle is the LORD's, and he will give you into our hand.” - 1 Samuel 17:47

I think of these verses every time I see the strong heart our Father has given that boy of yours. You and Jordan are great parents to him, parents pointing Jack to something bigger than himself. Keep up the good fight, it's worth every steroid day and more.

Jack the Giant Killer strikes again. Someone get that boy his cape.

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