As much as I have thought of this blog as being dead, I wanted to take the time to revive it, if only for this one post. I want to make sure I sit down, take the time to ponder and reflect on my sweet Jack, the celebration of his life, and be filled with gratefulness again for the gift he is to our family.
My sweet strong survivor son is 5 years old. How can it be already? It is amazing how he can seem so little and be my snuggly affectionate baby, and yet he seems so mature and steady way beyond his 5 years of life. This sweet tender hearted boy amazes me time and time again. Jordan and I were just talking together about how he doesn't often react to things in a big way. For example, when we surprise him with things, he responds in a very measured way, calmly says, "I know...." For a dramatic momma, who wants to see a big happy response, this is very anti-climatic. Yet it is how he is.
He just takes things in stride. Well, except when he is being bothered by his brothers. That is another matter altogether. In the middle of the three boys, he has grown to be the most self-less giving boy. I have seen him differ to Tyler and Dylan time and time again, it is amazing. He puts others before himself more often than he strives to be first. He loves to do it too. It is not in a defeated way, but just, that is what he feels is right.
This boy also seems to have a heart after God. He thinks in terms of how big God is, and often just states how things work because of God and how good God is. We are in a weekly bible study that has an amazing children's program, and every week, he is singing the bible verse songs, and telling me about our great God who listens to our prayers. He loves it when we pray over him at bedtime. It is a sweet time with him.
I have often wondered what the future holds for him. I have prayed for his future wife, for his future endeavors. I have thought about how walking through fire at such a young age has had such an impact on his life, and have wondered what the far reaching effects of this will have and how God will use it.
It amazes me, that as we come to the final stretch of this road of cancer, when I consider how my child has been broken down physically and endured so much, how the Lord has sustained him. How in that brokenness has risen strength. My sweet Jack.
To my sweet boy,
Oh my darling son. Even as I sit here typing out these words, I pray you will one day read, tears are filling my eyes. We have spent many many hours together, just you and I. In the car, at the hospital, in our home, just living life. Most of those memories, I see in my memory your little hand in mine.
One day that hand will not be little, but I will forever treasure how tightly you held on to my hand. I will always remember the gentle way you held to me when you were hurting, the tight hugs when you were afraid, the sweet kisses you so freely share. I love how you tell me how you want to marry me when you are a daddy. That wont happen, of course, but your heart behind it undoes me.
My son, you have endured so much. And it has made you into such a remarkable boy. I cannot wait to see all the Lord has in store for you, and even more, the rewards already stored up for you in heaven. I pray for your every day, my son. For complete healing, for the salvation of your soul, for strength for your days, and a heart that fears the Lord.
You my boy are such a gift to me. My life has been transformed by you, by this journey of mothering and nursing you. It has been filled with many many hours of tiring care, and yet they have been the most valuable days of my life and I would not be anywhere else.
Jack, in many ways you are my hero. I will always be proud of you and will treasure these sweet years of life with you always.
Your adoring momma.
My sweet strong survivor son is 5 years old. How can it be already? It is amazing how he can seem so little and be my snuggly affectionate baby, and yet he seems so mature and steady way beyond his 5 years of life. This sweet tender hearted boy amazes me time and time again. Jordan and I were just talking together about how he doesn't often react to things in a big way. For example, when we surprise him with things, he responds in a very measured way, calmly says, "I know...." For a dramatic momma, who wants to see a big happy response, this is very anti-climatic. Yet it is how he is.
He just takes things in stride. Well, except when he is being bothered by his brothers. That is another matter altogether. In the middle of the three boys, he has grown to be the most self-less giving boy. I have seen him differ to Tyler and Dylan time and time again, it is amazing. He puts others before himself more often than he strives to be first. He loves to do it too. It is not in a defeated way, but just, that is what he feels is right.
This boy also seems to have a heart after God. He thinks in terms of how big God is, and often just states how things work because of God and how good God is. We are in a weekly bible study that has an amazing children's program, and every week, he is singing the bible verse songs, and telling me about our great God who listens to our prayers. He loves it when we pray over him at bedtime. It is a sweet time with him.
I have often wondered what the future holds for him. I have prayed for his future wife, for his future endeavors. I have thought about how walking through fire at such a young age has had such an impact on his life, and have wondered what the far reaching effects of this will have and how God will use it.
It amazes me, that as we come to the final stretch of this road of cancer, when I consider how my child has been broken down physically and endured so much, how the Lord has sustained him. How in that brokenness has risen strength. My sweet Jack.
To my sweet boy,
Oh my darling son. Even as I sit here typing out these words, I pray you will one day read, tears are filling my eyes. We have spent many many hours together, just you and I. In the car, at the hospital, in our home, just living life. Most of those memories, I see in my memory your little hand in mine.
One day that hand will not be little, but I will forever treasure how tightly you held on to my hand. I will always remember the gentle way you held to me when you were hurting, the tight hugs when you were afraid, the sweet kisses you so freely share. I love how you tell me how you want to marry me when you are a daddy. That wont happen, of course, but your heart behind it undoes me.
My son, you have endured so much. And it has made you into such a remarkable boy. I cannot wait to see all the Lord has in store for you, and even more, the rewards already stored up for you in heaven. I pray for your every day, my son. For complete healing, for the salvation of your soul, for strength for your days, and a heart that fears the Lord.
You my boy are such a gift to me. My life has been transformed by you, by this journey of mothering and nursing you. It has been filled with many many hours of tiring care, and yet they have been the most valuable days of my life and I would not be anywhere else.
Jack, in many ways you are my hero. I will always be proud of you and will treasure these sweet years of life with you always.
Your adoring momma.
Comments
Happy birthday, Jack!