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.starting out.




It is often referred to as "the wrong side of the bed" ... and the opposite would be "starting out on the right foot." I would have liked this day to start in the latter, and yet I find myself being tempted to be quick to anger at every turn. We are training our boy to stay in his bed until a certain time each morning, to ensure he gets enough sleep and we also get enough sleep. 

He doesn't like to do it though. In the course of 45 mintues, I was up out of bed 5 times this morning. The first was because he didn't want daddy to help him, but mommy. This was an hour and a half before the determined wake up time arrived. The second and third times, he just wanted to get out of bed because he just wanted to.

The fourth and fifth times, he was just shouting my name so loudly, I grew angry so quickly, my heart was beating fast before my feet hit the ground. I hurried into his room to silence his calls to keep him from waking his brother, and certainly not with a heart to care for his needs. 

So all this has me thinking about the choices I make. The fleeting moments that pass, and in those moments, there is a choice made... to give into anger and to be impatient or chose love and show kindness. I think that in those brief moments when the choice is made, my cravings for sleep and ease are having a shouting match in my head with the voice of truth that God's word is stating clearly in response.

I want so much the bedrock of the truth of God's Word to be what gives me faith to step out in kindness "on the right side of the bed" and to fight my sinful desires to be angry with my 3 year old. I want to believe with all my heart that He has given me my portion and my cup, that the day is sovereignly ordained by him, and because of that, it is for my good and there is grace for all of it! Oh to fight the wicked cravings of my heart and choose to give Glory to God by obeying his word and simply showing kindness to my child. I know I would be happier for it, I know it would satisfy my soul in a way that a few more minutes sleep never could!

Sweet temptations that they are... God is after my heart in all of it, and I am made more aware of my desperate need of him from the very rising of the sun. 

Comments

Anonymous said…
Ahh, sleep-training and big boy beds and all that comes with that territory! Don't be too hard on yourself...this part of parenting (the sleep part) IS tough! And while God WILL give you the srength you need to make it through each day, remember that your reaction is completely normal and that Tyler doesn't think you love him any less if you're a little "off." You're right...Mommy DOES need sleep in order to function!! I pray you much patience and rest in this tiring season. Hoping that Tyler's internal clock adjusts quickly to the time which you would have him wake up.

I've heard of people using digital clocks to train their kids ("You can come out of your room when your clock says 7:00") or nightlights set on timers..."When the light goes off it's daytime and you can wake up," for instance.

Hugs!
Jenny (Peters) :)
February 27, 2009 at 9:18 PM
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